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Current carpet business owner, ex apple theif

Male (31) looking for Female Markham, Ontario, Canada

I've read a couple of profiles here and they all feel like a cover letter to me. Here's to breaking convention.

Hello ladies,

Look at your dream boyfriend, now back to me, now back to that mental image of your fake boyfriend. Sadly, he isn't even close to me, but if his imaginary sack is as big as mine, then you wouldn't be so intrigued right now. Look down, what's that? Not wearing Birkenstock/shorts? Is he ashamed of showing his skinny chicken legs to the public? Well, I'm not. check out my legs; view picture.

Welcome back, look at me, what's that on my head you ask? It's called glasses. Now just what kind of manly men wear glasses? The highly sophisticated ones of course, I got a damn education and a job and I don't pop my collars. :)

Still here? Good. Look at your hand right now, now back at me. Aren't you just dying to read what's next? Well of course, you've just been blown away by my awful grammar and punctuation skills. Yeah I know, I'm a rebel.

Now go back to your dream boyfriend, is he still there? No, not anymore, because I've just replaced him and we're doing a picnic by the park. Eating the food that we got from scavenger hunting in the grocery store. FYI, I can cook; microwave assistance not necessary.

My name is Tony, I had you at Hello.

/End

I could include my goals and dreams in there but they would be too epic to fit in this box. Msg me for more details. I'm a simple guy, non superficial and looking for someone simple/down to earth. Extra points if you got wits and quirkiness :)

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Appearance

EthnicityAsian
National heritageChinese
BuildAthletic / toned
Height5' 10" (178 cm)
Eye ColorBrown
Hair ColorBlack
Hair LengthShort
Facial HairShaved
Health ConditionNo problems
My AttractivenessAverage

Situation

Relationship StatusSingle
Has childrenNo children
Wants kidsYes
Housing SituationThere is no noise
Living ArrangementsWith parent(s)
Wants to RelocateMaybe
Has a carYes

Education & Employment

EducationUniversity Bachelors
SpecialtyResearch / Science / Engineering
Employment StatusFull-time
Annual income$25,000 - $50,000
Job TitleMarketing Specialist

Leisure & Fun

TV preferencesNews, Cartoons, Documentaries, Dramas, Situation comedies, Movies, Sports, Science fiction
Favorite TV showsBreaking Bad
The Mentalist
How I met your Mother
The Office
Favorite movies typesAction, Science fiction, Comedy, Romance, Drama, Documentary, Animation, Thriller
Favorite moviesInsideman
Shawshank redemption
Pirates of the Caribbean
Music typesRap, Rock, Pop, Classical, Blues, Industrial, New age, Dance, Soul, Gospel
Favorite artistsHedley
Marianas Trench
Reading selectionNews, Ancient, Auto-biography, Biography, Classic, Comic, Computers, Fantasy, Fiction, History, Horror, Humor, Instructional, Mathematics, Music, Mystery, Nature, Philosophy, Political, Reference, Poetry, Religious, Satire, Science, Science fiction, Sports, Technical
Favorite booksHarry Potter
DaVinci Code
HobbiesExercising, Sports, Reading, Learning, Music, TV, Movies, Internet, Games, Photography, Theater, Travel, Playing cards, Gambling, Volunteering, Shopping

Personality

SmokerDon't smoke
DrinkingLight / social drinker
Social behaviorFunny
Friends describe asGoofy
In High School I was a(n)Class clown
Sense of humorGoofy
My great timeHanging out with friends, Going shopping, Staying at home, Trying new things, The movies, Relaxing, Sleeping, Drinking, Reading a book, Going to a casino, Playing video games, TV, Going to a museum
Always wanted to trySky Diving
Marathon

Views

ReligionCatholic
Attend religious servicesOnce a year
Goal in lifeStart a charity soccer organization, where players can drop in and play soccer, trade in or donate their old gear for future players, develop referees through pickup games. For any excess gear accumulated, I'll want to sent it to third world countries where kids have no ball or shoes.

Looking For

Must haveIntelligence, Good Looks, Humor, Great skills, Oddities, Spontaneity, Money, Flirtatiousness, Wit, Thoughtfullness
Look for in a partnerIt's not what she has in her; it the chemistry that we could develop together.
On the first dateSipping Piña coladas under the rain; I'll hold the umbrella.